I’m enjoying my afternoon: I’ve finished work, found a seat at the bench at the bus stop and I can feel the warm sunshine on my bare legs, listening to my ipod, reading my book. I notice a cooing couple walk by, holding hands, giggling, and I roll my eyes at them (hidden behind my sunglasses) before I continue to read. It’s not that I’m offended by PDA, it’s the displays of contrived affection that really bug me: PDA that belongs in middle school and Doe-eyed Disney films – the kind that makes everybody feel, well, awkward.
I look up to see the bus coming and low and behold there’s the awkward couple, canoodling RIGHT in front of the bus stop. Making out in the front of the line. There are people within mere feet of them and they are eyes closed, holding each other close, last kiss before I go to war, making out.
We all get on the bus but the two cannot keep their hands off each other. He’s got his arm around her and she’s holding the hand dropped over her shoulder, caressing it, kissing it, and then looking deeply into his eyes and giving him a dreamy grin. Gag me!
I do the “well this is awkward” downward glance toward the girls feet and this is what I see:
Her legs were hairier than the male bus drivers.
And then I really did almost vomit. In my mouth. Just a little bit.