Friday, July 9, 2010

"Oh you DON'T have a boyfriend..."

Dear boy in the black due rag and green and yellow stripped two sizes too big for you polo,
Why, instead of just asking if I was single, did you come up to me and ask "So where's your boyfriend at on this fine afternoon?" You aren't being clever by asking my status in this round about way. And when you say "Well, if I had a girlfriend as fine as you, I'd never be able to let you walk home alone. I'd never be able to let you outta my sight," you're not being thoughtful and compassionate. I'm actually glad my boyfriend has better things to do -- like earn an income -- rather than accompany me on my less than a mile walk home in the middle of the day. I actually find you rather mysoginistic by assuming I cannot possibly make this God awful trek all by my lonesome.

And to you, old bearded man that kind of resembles a gray Hulk Hogan in stunner shades and a ripped sleeveless flannel, you go even a step further and ask if my boyfriend is stealing money from me in order to pay for his drugs. Again, way to be clever and avoid asking me directly if I even have said boyfriend. And thanks for glancing at me and assuming I'm the type of girl who would date a drug addicted Mr.

And no homeless kid. I've never made out with a homeless kid. And I don't plan to. But thanks for just coming out and asking.

Honesty, is ALWAYS the best policy. Your "Blahblahblah your boyfriend blahblahblah" isn't fooling anyone. We know what you're really asking. Besides, I'll just lie to you and say I have one just to get you to leave me alone.

1 comment:

  1. But I love when guys follow me down the street talking in slang telling me how "damn fine" I am.